How many of you have seen the Swami before?
OK, well you are seeing him again.
How many have seen the Swami before But don't remember?
That is called vuja de
That is when something actually has happened only you forgot

I am the cosmic comic
and I know many of you are wondering
How does comedy fit in with all of this?
Well, it is simple ...
There's definitely something funny going on
And yet, everywhere I go I see people not laughing
They are saying Swami
I coulda sworn we voted for West Wing
How did we end up with the Sopranos

Now I will say this. The War on Terror
has made our lives simpler.
They've taken the Bill of Rights
and boiled them down to just one:
You have the right to remain silent.
And there have been great technological strides.
In the 1960s, John F. Kennedy declared
that he would have a man on the moon by the end of that decade.
And look how far we've come.
Thanks to the so-called Patriot Act,
George Bush can have a man on uranus
by the end of the week.

Irony Curtain
For indeed, the irony curtain has come down.
That is the invisible wall of impropaganda
that separates we the people
from the truth.
The body politic
has been inundated with so much toxic BS,
that our skeptic system has overflowed.
This is called irony deficiency
Now seeing a doctor won't help,
but seeing a paradox will.
So here's an irony supplement to munch on:
Two men lying together
is an abomination
But when a whole bunch of men
lie together to bomb a nation
That's OK.

Feargnomes
Meanwhile,
right after 9/11
fear-gnomes --
little gnomes of gnawing fear --
were released into the body politic
No wonder we were susceptible to
Mad Cowboy Disease
That is when the body politic
is put into a state of cattlepsy
and herded into the bewilderness

But just as surely as those planes were hijacked
Our country got low-jacked
By gold collar criminals and privatizing privateers
Gold collar criminals
Are criminals who have figured out
how to collar the gold
without getting collared themselves
They have mastered that ancient practice
of using energy
what the Chinese call chi
to take unfair advantage
chi ting, it is called
Like those Enron people
I got a call from Ken Lay a few weeks ago
-- no, as a Swami I counsel many kinds of people --
He was concerned that he might be doing prison time
I told him not to worry
to look on the bright side
Don't think of it as prison
think of it as living in a gated community

Meanwhile, the media has given
the 9/11 truth issue
blanket coverage
That is where they cover it up with a blanket
and smother it to death
You know that TV network CBS?
Sometimes I think that's what they all should be called. See B.S.

Tell A Vision
So if you're tired of seeing B.S.,
I have a better idea.
If you don't like the current programming
turn off your TV.
And tell a vision instead.
That is where I tell a vision to you
And you tell a vision to me
And we have healing functional visions
to step into
And that beats what we've been stepping into
So here is my vision
Government of the people
by the people
for the people
where the government does our bidding
not the bidding of the highest bidder

Now many people are feeling discouraged
because they say that
a few very very powerful people
seem to be in control of so much
That's great news
Because there are a lot more of us
than there are of them
Like the time the Lone Ranger and Tonto
were caught in an ambush
the Lone Ranger says
Well Tonto looks like we're done for
And Tonto says
What you mean we kemosabe?
So it is up to we the people
must elect ourselves
hey, george bush did it
why not us?

We are the leaders we've been waiting for
Yes, we are up against a super power
But the power of the people
plus the power of love
is a super duper power
we just don't know we're a super duper power
'cause we've been super duped
But people are wising up
And you know what that means?
An up-wising has begun
and not a moment too soon
Because now is the time
Ask me why
why????
Because it is too late to do it sooner
Thank you and may the farce be with you

Return to- January 15, 2006